just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
