Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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