The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
