Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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