i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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