lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
