Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I love you. Go after that dick
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
