During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
