Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize