Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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