exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
