Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
