If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
handjob tips. give me some.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
