Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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