On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
