Whatcha textin bout Willis?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
