That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
