But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
