you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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