Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
