Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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