every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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