Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
