Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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