I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
