I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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