Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
