Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
