I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
