i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
