'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
