Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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