More tranny stories later!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Damn victory sex feels great
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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