What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
