I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
40s are totally the cure
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
