i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize