See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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