Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
