She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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