on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think im going to throw up on grandma
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
