My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hippo gnu deer
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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