I am puke
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Acid is not a monday night drug
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
