And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
