My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
