We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
