He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize