she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
