the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
