Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
How's work?
Spinning.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize