we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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