you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
