Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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