I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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