im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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