I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude. I can hear the air.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
