he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You took a bar mat shot.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
