I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
