look no pants
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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