is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
