doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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